A New Year.
A time for resolutions and renewed goals and brand new goals and new dreams and so on and so forth...
A new year is usually very exciting for me.
I love the list of endless possibilities; the idea that I could completely transform myself into the picture in my head of the wife, mother, person I want to be.
This year...
not so much.
Along with those lists of goals and dreams and possibilities, comes a list of expectations for myself.
And when I don't meet them,
I feel like a failure.
And that's no fun.
My mom and little sister came to visit over the holidays and we all got sick.
We were sick 90% of the time they were here.
Kind of a bummer, huh?
However, all the sick time gave us a lot of talk time.
My mom and I had one particular conversation that has changed me, encouraged me, renewed my sense of contentment with myself and my life.
I was going on and on about the picture in my head of what I wanted my life to look like.
What kind of house, how many kids, what kind of routine and schedule would be ideal for me.
She listened with graciousness before she opened her mouth and said,
"Where did that picture come from?"
"Me," I replied. "It's been there since I was 15."
"I know," she said. "And now you're 28, and you have this life and this house and this number of kids and it really doesn't look like you thought it would. It looks like God thought it should. And it's time to be happy with this."
WOAH!
Now maybe for some of you, that's not a life changing statement. But for me, it rocked my world and brought me relief and peace. PEACE.
And it's not that I'm not HAPPY with my life. I am. I love my husband and my girls and my home. But I've struggled with the completeness of it all, or the lack thereof.
But God is sovereign. And I can put a whole heapin' pile of expectations and plans on my life, but if they're not in accordance with what God's plans are for me well, I'm just running in place aren't I?!?
And when I stop to think about what my plans were versus what He gave me, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
I'm one truly stinkin' blessed lady.
And I'm ready to erase those synthetic pictures in my head and really wait for the path that the Lord leads me to instead.
Because His path, is a good path.
Life Held Still Photography
It's the best path.
5 comments on "Great Expectations"
Anne, what a wise woman you have for a mother! Yes, it's time to BE HERE NOW! That's sort of my own version of what your mother said. I'm a lot older than you, and I STILL have to remind myself. So be warned--the big realization doesn't last forever, you have to remind yourself from time to time.
Love that mother wisdom! She is SO right, and you should have SUCH peace. Life doesn't always work out the way we think it will. Letting go of all those expectations helps. I know, I've had to do it too :)
Good decision...good advice...I know my life has turned out different in SO many ways. If I had it my way, I'd be a doctor right now, probably no husband and definitely no kids. I'd have missed so many blessings God intended for me through DD&F, working with my dad, marrying Kyle, having my kids and just being open to a different plan. You just never know what's best for yourself. Only the One who made us, knitted us together, is capable of such insight into us. Love you.
I really needed to hear this today, Anne...thank you!! So encouraging.
This is something I am continually reminding myself. There have been times when I have gotten really down because we are in such a different place in our lives than many of our friends and where I dreamed we would be at 27. I have to remember that although we don't own a house or cars or have a gym membership and we may not for quite awhile that what I do have is so much more. God's plan is for me to live in this moment that HE has given me and to be grateful for the experiences HE provides.
I might come back to this post regularly to be reminded of your mom's wisdom!
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