Second Love

I remember crying when I found out I was pregnant with Izzy.

Not because I didn't want another baby, but because I wasn't sure I was ready for my attention to be diverted from Eva in any way.

I was afraid that Eva might resent her sibling for taking Mommy's affection from her.

I was afraid that I wouldn't know what to do with two.

I was afraid that I wouldn't love another baby as deeply as I love Eva.

I was wrong.

In every single way.

Weekend Excursion

Our Thanksgiving went well. It was quiet, low-key, full of football. I made a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but there was no stress involved. I kept it simple. Our only guest was Eddie, a long time friend of ours (he was the only witness at our wedding) and so I didn't feel the need to impress.

The remainder of the weekend was very similar. Quiet, low-key, full of football. However, Paul and I did manage to peel ourselves away from the confines of our home for a few hours to take a trip back down to Old Town Alexandria. We went in hopes that their Christmas decor would be up...it wasn't. But we still had a blast!

Our first stop was Starbucks (of course!) to warm up our hands and bellies...it was COLD. We walked a bit and stopped for lunch and a family friendly pizzeria called Bugsy's. Once our tummies were full, we continued to walk. I visited my favorite store in Old Town, The Christmas Attic (if you're ever in our neck of the woods, you HAVE to go in there!) and just enjoyed the clear, crisp day.

Thankful

Today is a day for gratitude. To be honest, every day is a day for gratitude but today is when we as a culture slow down to actually dwell on all the things in and about our lives to be grateful for. I've been reflecting on this a lot in the last few days.

Less than a year ago, we moved into this house. It's an end unit town home provided for us by the US Army and compared to the home we had out in Hawaii, this place felt like a palace to me. I was grateful.

Less than 6 months later, I was feeling restless and discontented. It seemed everyone I knew was buying their first homes, making improvements, staking a claim and putting their mark on it. It seemed everyone was partaking in their piece of the American Dream...everyone but me. I read blog posts, listened to friends on the phone and got emails about the the trials and joys that come with home ownership and I was envious.

After weeks of discussion, Paul and I decided to start looking for our own home. We knew we wouldn't be able to afford our dream home, but we figured we'd be able to find a great starter home and investment opportunity. After viewing a few potentials, we found one we loved. It too was an end unit town home, only 3 years old and all the fancy upgrades. We put in an offer and prayed. A few days later, we found out we didn't get the house. I was disappointed.

We continued looking but the market was just so competitive at the time and every time we found something we liked, we'd also discover that there was already multiple offers on the table. We started to re-evaluate. I'm glad we did.

Call me naive but I always imagined that when I bought a home, it would be the one I would grown old in. I always thought it would be the house that my kids would bring their kids home to for holidays and birthdays. I would fill it with things I loved and be able to hand them down to my grandchildren when I passed. I never thought that I would ever consider a home as an "investment" but more as an heirloom.

So this morning, I sit in my Army owned town home and I'm grateful. I may not own a piece of the "pie" but this isn't necessarily the pie I want a piece of when it's all said and done. I'm storing up my treasures in Heaven. Not to say that home-owners cannot store up treasures in Heaven because I still hope to be a home-owner one day...I'm saying FOR ME, I have to be grateful right now with what I have.

For although this house will not be my heirloom, contained within it's walls are all the things that I hold eternally dear. My home. My husband, my children and the memories we've already created here and will continue to create until the military calls us to move again.

It's where we live. It's where we laugh and cry and play and sleep and feel safe. It may not always be clean or straight and it may look nothing like the pages of my Pottery Barn catalog but it's one of the houses that we will call home during the life of our little family.

So today, I am thankful for my home...even if the house it resides in is temporary.

Rain and Elizabeth Bennet

I do love rainy days. They're so...so...Pride and Prejudice. And I mean, who doesn't love Pride and Prejudice?!?

And even though I can't spontaneously decide to talk a walk in the morning mist like my dear friend Elizabeth Bennet, I can sit at my breakfast table and gaze out the window with a hot cup of coffee and dream of of walking along side her, listening to her stories about Mr. Darcy and recanting stories of my own.

We would talk of books and music and our crazy families but how we can't help but to love them despite all of their flaws. We would speak of our favorite things to do...I'm sure she would've hated scrap booking almost as much as I do.

But I'm guessing that she would've loved photography if the modern conveniences of the hobby had been available to her.

Rainy days make me think of her.

Even if our walks together only exist in my mind.

Lacking

I am many things. Patient is not one of them. I'm notorious for jumping the gun, planning for things months (even years) in advance and acting on impulse. The people in my life who know this about me have learned to identify the signs and respond accordingly. I get talked down from quite a bit, thank goodness.

For example, we almost bought new furniture a few weeks ago. Not because we NEED new furniture, but because I saw the furniture I want eventually and didn't think I could wait. Paul has learned that I don't hear "NO" very well and so he does this amazingly sneaky little dance in which he says "okay, let's talk about it a bit more." And then that leads to "Let's look at the numbers." And then that leads to "I trust your judgement to do what's best for this family." And then that leads to me sinking down into my chair, letting out a loud exhale and saying, "Okay, okay we'll wait." Sneaky, huh?

Well...right now, it's Christmas decorations. I am THAT person who gets my panties all wadded up over these big retailers who put up their Christmas stuff RIGHT after Halloween. I mean, can we have November please?!? Thanksgiving?!?! And don't get me wrong, putting up Christmas decor in the beginning of November is, in my opinion, a bit tacky but I'm feeling the urge to put up my Christmas tree right now...today...at this moment.

Does anyone know the actual etiquette for Christmas decor? How early is too early? Can I have my Christmas tree up on Thanksgiving day or would that have Emily Post rolling in her grave? Do I need to be talked down from this one? And if so, proceed...

Pics from the Weekend

We had a relatively quiet weekend. We walked. We walked around Target, we walked around the commissary and we walked around the lake on Ft Meade. We walked and we took pictures, of course.

I'm in Love

Paul came home Thursday evening with a smirk on his face. This always causes me concern. It usually means one of two things...he's spent money, or he's made plans and not informed me of them until I only have enough time to shower and scrunch some palmade through my hair.

He said something about being able to enjoy the "fruits of his labor," which made me roll my eyes and urge him to just get it over with and tell me what he did. He pulled out a computer mouse. One of those Magic Mac Mouses that he keeps talking about. I shrugged my shoulders, pretending to be unimpressed and said, "Oh, that's all?"

It wasn't. He insisted that I go out to the car and grab "the thing" he left in the back on accident. I looked at him like he was nuts. "You go get it," I retorted. The smirk came back. "You have to go get it, " he prodded.

I rolled my eyes again and made my way to the front door where I slipped my toes into my tennis shoes and didn't bother to slide my heels in after. It was raining...so I, of course, rolled my eyes yet again and made sure to push open the screen door with enough force to make an irritated scene.

I ran awkwardly to the van with my toes all curled up inside of my shoes trying to keep them from slipping off, and pulled open the back door with a bit of curiosity mixed with a lot of "this better be good."

And it was.

My birthday isn't for another week. But Paul and I really stink at waiting for the actual holiday to give one another our gifts.

This has been on my Christmas/birthday/anniversary/Valentine's Day list for a long time.

And now, it's mine.

Ain't she a beauty?!?! Gotta love Martha Stewart Blue!

Thanks Paulie. I promise I'll enjoy this gift almost as much you'll enjoy all the yummy things that come from it!