Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I made it!

After a year of posting things in the Pioneer Woman Flickr Assignment page,

I finally made it!

Yeah me!

Mystery Revealed

So, for the last year I've had to be somewhat cryptic in my blogging.

Our family went through something pretty big.

Something that many families go through, but that we had never been through and really hope to never have to go through again.

I was asked by my hubby not to blog about it for security reasons.

But now I can.

Because...

he's finally home!

Paul has been deployed to Iraq for the last 6 1/2 months and was gone for training for 3 months before that, and on Thursday morning, we received a surprise email stating that he would be home THAT NIGHT!

I scrambled around all day in preparation for the highly anticipated reunion.

And what a joyful reunion it was!

And now I can breathe again.

And smile again.

And blog normally again.

And I feel like my half is a whole again.

So, no more cryptic posts about the goings on in this house.

From now on,

full honesty.

Well...

at least about most things ;p

Girl Meets Horse

I watched Secretariat this weekend.

And I fell in love all over again.

And it took me back to the first time I fell in love...ever.

It wasn't with any boy.

It was with a horse.

The Black Stallion to be exact.

I remember being 5 years old,

my mom (a horse lover herself) taped The Black Stallion off of tv.

We watched it together one afternoon.

And that was it for me.

And I wonder, if one isn't a horse lover, if they know what it feels like to fall in love with a horse.

Well I'll tell you.

Think back to the first time you ever fell in love.

Do you remember how taken you were with the glisten in your special someone's eyes?

Do you remember how much you adored the way his jaw moved under his skin when he smiled?

Do you remember his cologne or the way his hand felt in yours?

Well, falling in love with a horse is not so different.

The first time I saw Black, I was taken with the lean power of his legs.

I was enamored with the way his shoulder muscles moved under his glistening black coat.

I was totally head over feet with the rhythm of his mane rising and falling as he galloped.

As I grew older, my parents enrolled me in riding lessons.

I remember pressing my face into Summer's spotted neck, inhaling her deeply, savoring every second that I could feel her pulse against my cheek.

I remember gliding my hands up and down her back and reveling in the feel of her breath in my hand laid lightly against her muzzle.

By theunquietlibrarian

Running my fingers up and down her forehead, I'd speak softly, promising her a yummy apple and a good brushing when our lesson was over.

I loved her.

And it's been the same with every horse since.

I fall in love every time I see one.

Life Held Still Photography

They say scent is the sense that is most closely tied to memory...

well I believe it.

Because while others might be repulsed by the idea of a stall,

I'd muck it all day if it mean that I was in reaching distance of a horse.

When I was 7, my Gramino asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I, quite matter-of-factly, told her I'd like to be a stable hand.

She laughed.

I didn't understand why.

I guess that would seem silly to a rational and mature mind.

But to be honest,

that that hasn't really changed either.

I watched Secretariat this weekend.

And I fell in love all over again.

A Challenging Truth

I came across this blog post last night.

I encourage you to read it.

Give it some thought.

Even if you're not feeling a call toward adoption,

it's filled with amazing truths about Godly parenting.

Please read!

On the Cusp of a New Season

Spring is coming.

I know you're thinking, "Spring?!? What?? Anne, honey we just had Christmas 3 weeks ago."

And maybe Spring isn't literally coming...

but metaphorically speaking,

for me,

Spring is near!

And I'm giddy.

A season of Winter and solitude is leaving and dusting off the cobwebs in my heart along the way,

and leaving a path for love to shine through!

And I know this is all a bit mysterious...

but be patient,

this time of vague metaphors is drawing to an end for me,

and it looks like Valentine's Day threw up in my house.

But hey,

like I said...

I'm giddy ;)

Great Expectations

A New Year.

A time for resolutions and renewed goals and brand new goals and new dreams and so on and so forth...

A new year is usually very exciting for me.

I love the list of endless possibilities; the idea that I could completely transform myself into the picture in my head of the wife, mother, person I want to be.

This year...

not so much.

Along with those lists of goals and dreams and possibilities, comes a list of expectations for myself.

And when I don't meet them,

I feel like a failure.

And that's no fun.

My mom and little sister came to visit over the holidays and we all got sick.

We were sick 90% of the time they were here.

Kind of a bummer, huh?

However, all the sick time gave us a lot of talk time.

My mom and I had one particular conversation that has changed me, encouraged me, renewed my sense of contentment with myself and my life.

I was going on and on about the picture in my head of what I wanted my life to look like.

What kind of house, how many kids, what kind of routine and schedule would be ideal for me.

She listened with graciousness before she opened her mouth and said,

"Where did that picture come from?"

"Me," I replied. "It's been there since I was 15."

"I know," she said. "And now you're 28, and you have this life and this house and this number of kids and it really doesn't look like you thought it would. It looks like God thought it should. And it's time to be happy with this."

WOAH!

Now maybe for some of you, that's not a life changing statement. But for me, it rocked my world and brought me relief and peace. PEACE.

And it's not that I'm not HAPPY with my life. I am. I love my husband and my girls and my home. But I've struggled with the completeness of it all, or the lack thereof.

But God is sovereign. And I can put a whole heapin' pile of expectations and plans on my life, but if they're not in accordance with what God's plans are for me well, I'm just running in place aren't I?!?

And when I stop to think about what my plans were versus what He gave me, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

I'm one truly stinkin' blessed lady.

And I'm ready to erase those synthetic pictures in my head and really wait for the path that the Lord leads me to instead.

Because His path, is a good path.

Life Held Still Photography

It's the best path.

Humbled

Blogs are merely a window.

A glimpse.

A small fraction of the bigger picture of someone's life.

They usually focus on the positives,

the uplifting,

the lessons learned,

the fond memories.

Very rarely, do they take you into the dark places.

Windows are meant to let in light, after all.

This can lead sometimes to a misconception for it's readers.

A belief that all is well and right and perfect in the life of the author.

That they always have money for amazing decor or expensive ingredients.

That they don't fight or quarrel or experience grief or suffering.

But that's just not so.

And today, after reading this,

that was confirmed to me.

Trial and tribulation skip no one.

Suffering does not only prey on the weak or poor,

it grabs hold of everyone, sometimes leaving devastation in it's wake.

No one is immune.

Not one.

Not even Edie, who has been a source of light in my life ever since I found her blog, two years ago.

This week has seemed engulfed in suffering and devastation for those around me.

And I thank God for His mercies,

which are new every morning,

to all who will receive them.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." -Lamentation 3:22-23