"I have come that they might have life and have it to the full..." -John 10:10b

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Admitting Defeat

Oh goodness. Where do I start? Let's just say that the taste of "humble pie" is something I've grown VERY accustomed to in my life. I tend to have "jump the gun" syndrome as well as a mean case of "foot in mouth" disease. They are not a good combination of ailments, let me tell you. But the Lord has been gracious in blessing me with very patient friends and family and they were so needed this past week.

I think as a parent, I struggle with placing my personality and the expectations I would have for myself on my kids; mostly Eva, of course being the 2 year old. Anyway, I've come to see that God gave me a child very different from myself. I'm outgoing and extroverted. I tend to talk too much when I meet someone new and have a hard time keeping things to myself. I love going to functions and events with Paul because I know there will be scads of new faces for me to converse with. I'm a people person by nature and I love to socialize. At home, I'm quiet and focused. Eva...not so much. She is my exact opposite in that area. At home, she's crazy and fun and adventurous, but put her in a social setting and she withdraws so fast it would make your head spin.

I've finally come to realize that this is not something about her that needs "fixing." That's just the way she is. If you were to look up the word "introvert" in the dictionary, my child's face would be plastered right next to it. Once I was able to draw this conclusion, that there was nothing WRONG with her, she was just different from me, immediate relief followed. I mean, it's not too surprising. I wouldn't exactly call Paul "Mr. Social" either now that I think about it.

Anyway, I found myself in a similar predicament this past week. Potty training. Ugh, the very words send shivers down my spine. It was horrible. All 3 and half days of it. Oh, and don't read that and think "Wow, she potty trained her kid in only 3 days!?!" No! I started potty training and drastically failed in all of 3 days. Okay, maybe failed isn't the right word.

Eva is a smart kid. She can count to 10 and she knows all of her shapes. She memorizes songs no problems and has a pretty good sense of humor for a 2 year old. All this being said, potty training should come easy...right? WRONG! This is where parenting gets tough. I've been reading up on potty training for months trying to decipher if Eva was, in fact, ready to potty train. And I read over and over again that some kids are just not ready to potty train until closer to 3 and sometimes even 4. But every time I read those things, I dismissed them. "That doesn't apply to MY kid," I would think to myself. I finally decided to give it a good go last week and we went out and purchased "big girl panties" and pull ups to get her started.

Well, lets just say there were MANY more accidents than accomplishments and I found myself getting very frustrated. And every time I would get frustrated, Eva would resist the potty all that much more. It got to the point that she was afraid to tell me when she'd had an accident. Poor baby. The straw that broke the camel's back was her final accident on my WHITE couch(NO, I don't know what possessed me to buy a white couch with small children around, but that's water under the bridge). At that point, I was so exhausted with trying to force Eva to use her potty, all I could do was look over at Paul and admit defeat.

So people, my child is not potty trained. In fact, we're not even going to attempt it for a few more months. This was a case of Mommy feeling the pressure because all of Eva's little friends are either in the midst of potty training or have already been well trained. But guys, my kid is different. She's just not ready and I've learned my lesson in trying to force the issue. More than anything, I want her to trust me, and if I'm constantly nagging her to do something she just isn't ready for, the trust bond is broken.

So, here's to another few months of buying diapers for two and being content with that! I mean, I'm not going to have a kid in kindergarten that cannot use the potty on her own...right?!?

5 comments on "Admitting Defeat"

Katie on December 5, 2008 at 12:28 PM said...

If it makes you feel better, Liam isn't potty trained. Neither is his little girl cousin who is older than Eva by 4 months. They aren't close. They aren't interested. I have learned that I like pull-ups over regular diapers. That's something I guess.

Charity said...

Ok, So Eva is a mix of Emma and Katie. Emma is the shy one in public and the very active talkative one at home. Katie...walked around naked, sat on the potty, put a doll on the potty - not even a drop from her! Don't sweat it. She wil potty train when she's ready. And waiting until that time will make your life much easier. Katie will be in diapers right along with her :)

Liz on December 8, 2008 at 1:28 PM said...

You are such a good mother. :)

Tales from Goshen on December 11, 2008 at 3:47 PM said...

You're doing fine, my friend. Brooklyn has no interest in being potty trained, either. And I have learned (from my mom, mostly) not to pressure her. She is smart and will figure it out when she's ready. She can actually go in the potty (minus pooing) when asked. But has expressed no interest on doing this all the time. And she's almost 3. No pressure, babe. Give her time. And don't stress yourself out. They can still be our perfect little gals and wear diapers until they decide to use ONLY the big girl potty. Love you!

p.s. I owe you a long email which I intend to write. Been so busy...plan to also update my blog. :)

Anonymous said...

Ammiting Defeat is the first step! :0) We tried to encourage Jake way too early and it backfired. He prob had anothe 6 plus months until he would of been ready (then he got sick and we threw that out the window fast). Like other have said - in time it will come and it will make you life so much easier not having to nag about it! Take care - Kim, Mitch and boys