"The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”(Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11)
-Anna Quindlen

Oh, how I wish never to make that mistake knowing that it is almost inevitable. Especially for a personality like mine. Always looking ahead, always impatient for the next thing.

Lord, help me to slow down today and all the days after so that I might really see the perfect gifts you've given me. Help me to treasure every moment, every opportunity to teach, every cuddle, every smile, every tear wiped away from baby soft skin with the hem of my shirt. For tomorrow, she'll be a woman ready to start her own family and all I'll have is memories of when she belonged only to me.

Dinner Time Smiles and Dances

Dinner time in our house is usually very interesting. That can be a good interesting or a not-so-good interesting depending on Éva’s mood. Last night however, was a good night. The actual meal wasn't so great (Chicken Picata...a bit too lemony) but both Izzy and Éva were in the mood to entertain and Paul and I were happy to watch.

I LOVE Izzy's smiles. They're big and wide and full of joy. She is such a happy baby and it really does take a bit to rattle her. During dinner, we usually set her in the middle of the table in her Bumbo so that she can be a part of the dinner "conversation." She really loves this and I do too as it allows me to use both hands to eat and she still feels like she's close. She's always very content this time of day and I love to talk to her and coax those very willing smiles from her sweet little face.

Éva mostly enjoys dinner time, except when Mommy has made something weird like chicken picata. But she endured the tart poultry (I think the white rice made up for it) and even squeezed in her Dinner Dance.

Oh yes, the Dinner Dance. The Dinner Dance began when she was a little less than a year old. Paul and I noticed that when she was enjoying her dinner, she would do this sweet little shimmy-shimmy with her hands up in by her shoulders in little fists. She would be in her own little world, staring at her food and then BAM...the dinner dance would show up. So cute. Well, now it's a dinner time fave.

Last night, as we ate our chicken, Éva looked at me and said "Momma, dinner dance!" We both shimmy-shimmied as Daddy snapped away with his camera. Dinner time fun at it's finest.

The Sweetest Words

Éva loves to make me wait for things. I think she knows how badly I struggle with patience. When I call her to me, she takes her sweet time, taking the smallest, slowest baby steps I've ever seen. If I tell her she needs to finish her dinner, she doddles all that much more. And when it comes to her milestones, she's always made me wait. She made me wait until she was almost 9 months old to see her crawl. She made me wait until she was 14 months old to see her walk. Her first word was "Dada" when I specifically asked her to say "Mama" first and now, she's already told Paul "I love you" and I haven't been able to get her to say it to me even by bribing her with fruit snacks and juice.

But, tonight, as I left her room from kissing her good night, there it was; with no coaxing, bribing or prodding..."I luh you, Momma."

My heart melted in my chest and I turned right back around, peeked my head in and said, " I love you too, Love Bug."

That little stinker.

Family Walk

So, last night (after cheating with too many slices of Boston's Pizza) Paul and I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood with the girls. Paul almost never leaves his camera behind and it's a good thing, because the sunset was so pretty.

The houses in our neighborhood on base are nothing to speak of, but the scenery is beautiful.

Here's a few shots we were able to get, trying to maneuver the shot so that the houses and power lines weren't in the way.

Paul's Downfall

...will almost always be sunglasses or shoes. They are his weakness. He has an affinity for them the way I have an affinity for diaper bags (I'm on my third and in the market for number 4) and coffee cups.

Last night, on our way out the door for a family walk, he confessed that he had purchased yet another pair of sunglasses from the Navy Exchange. He first saw them a few weeks ago while we were walking around there, torturing ourselves by making lists in our heads of the things we would like but new we didn't need and couldn't afford. He stopped to gaze at the Aviator style Armani sunglasses on sale for $22 and I stopped to check out a Fossil handbag that could possibly be used as a very stylish diaper bag. He showed them to me and we both agreed that they weren't really needed (neither was my quasi-diaper bag) as he has a great pair of sunglasses already.

So, you can imagine my surprise (or lack thereof) when he stopped by his car, reached in and pulled them out. "I paid cash and they were only $17," he justified. I just rolled my eyes and said, "Oh, let me hold them...I want to see how they look on ME."

This then turned into a mini-photo shoot with his new sunglasses and my trusty $7 pair.

Big Shoes to Fill

Éva has entered that adorable phase of childhood where she wants to wear Mommy and Daddy's things. She sits in the bathroom with me before we go anywhere to watch me put on my make-up and she always asks to wear some lip gloss. She sometimes tries to get into the master bathroom when she knows Paul is in there shaving (I don't know what it is about watching your Dad shave but I used to do it all the time...I loved watching my dad use his mouthwash because it always made me laugh when he gurgled it in the back of his throat). And yesterday, after she woke up from a very long nap, she found Paul's slippers and pranced around the house proudly, as if wearing them helped her to assume position of "head of the household." Of course, once Daddy actually saw her in them, her disposition immediately turned to sheepish and she began giggling awkwardly. So cute.

Be Still

In times when I can feel the Lord gently chastising me or showing me little pieces of His will for me, I take great comfort and encouragement in music. Some of my most incredible times of praise have been in the car with a CD blaring and me singing at the top of my lungs (My friend Ashley can attest to this...she and her husband caught me in the act a long time ago in Little Rock, AR).

This morning, on my way to church I had my Ginny Owens (if you don't know who she is, look her up...she's amazing!) CD on and it seemed that every song that came on, from the time I pulled out of my driveway to the time I turned off the engine in the church parking lot, was meant for my ears.

This one was the last one I heard before getting to church and it's been stuck in my head and heart all day...

Be still, my soul,
The Lord is on your side.
Bare patiently, the cross of grief or pain,
Leave to your God, to order and provide.
In every change He faithful will remain,
Be still, my soul,
Your best your heavenly friend,
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul,
Your God will undertake.
To guide the future as He has the past
Your hope your confidence let nothing shake
All now mysterious shall be bright at last
Be still, my soul,
The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them , while He lived below

Be still, my soul,
Be still, my soul,
Be still.

Worship

This morning, our pastor did a sermon on the definition of worship and how it factors in to our everyday lives. It was a great sermon about worship being more than lifting our hands and voices during a church service, but at it's very heart, worship is valuing the things and people God values. And of course, the things we value are apparent by the way we spend our time, our money and our energy.

Anyway, as Pastor Brad went on, he started to name some of the gifts that are given to us by God and then spoke on how often we tend to worship the gifts instead of the gift giver. As he spoke I thought of the tendency of many parents (myself included)to worship our kids, putting them up on pedestals and allowing them to become everything we work for and live for. I stared blankly towards the front of the stage where Pastor Brad was speaking, lost in my thoughts and pondering how easy it is to fall into that trap of worshiping our children. I mean the love we have for them, so instantaneous and deep, is a small picture of the love God has for us. The bond between parent and child can become so all consuming. I said a quiet prayer and vowed to the Lord that I would never allow myself to fall into that trap. My heart is His as are my children and He can do with them what He will.

I then turned my gaze down to my lap where Izzy was laying quietly and she smiled at me...and I swear I heard the Lord chuckle to Himself.

Day 17

8 lbs off! Yay! Just #@$% more to go!

When God Grabs You

...there is no escaping Him. Praise Him for that. I hope never to escape His long reaching grasp.

This week it seems, the Lord has really been dealing with me. I find myself to be a chronic worrier. For so long I've looked at my worrying tendency as a quirk. Something not so great about me, but tolerable and sometimes, maybe even cute. An imperfection, yes, but not as bad as other potential imperfections.

Well, I no longer see worry that way. It's a disease in the worst form because it doesn't just plague you physically (which it can in my case, I find myself physically exhausted after a day of worry and fret) but it plagues you mentally and spiritually. In it's purest form, it is a lack of trust in God. It is the belief that He doesn't really have it all under control and that somehow, by worrying, you are keeping awful things at bay. Worry seeps in and tells you over and over again that perhaps it isn't all "for our good" (Romans 8:28)

Where there is worry, there cannot be the peace of God. So all this time, I've wondered why it is that I cannot find the "peace that passes all understanding" and all this time it's because I have worried. I have not handed my anxieties over the Lord in prayer and petition (Philippians 4:6-7). I have told the Lord and myself that I have it all under control. And God knows, and I know that I certainly do not!

I'm reading "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" right now and the book could not have come at a better time. This is a time in the life of our family when there are so many unanswered questions that need resolving in the very near future. Things seem to be "down to the wire" and because of that, my mind has conjured up all sorts of negative scenarios. Joanna Weaver so wisely states in her chapter on worry that "worry comes from focusing on our situation rather than our savior."

How many times have I quoted Hebrews 12:1-2 believing in my heart that I believed the words of the anonymous writer. "...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that easily entangles us and let us run with perseverance...let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." How can you believe that, how can you really throw off everything that entangles and and fix your eyes on Jesus and still have room for worry? You can't. Where there is worry, there is no faith. The two cannot coexist.

It's a harsh reality, I know. I've come to conclude that my faith in the Lord is so much easier when things are as they should be in my feeble mind. But as soon as one area goes off kilter, the downward spiral of my mind and heart begins. And this anxiety is hard on relationships. For if you cannot even muster up faith the Creator of Heaven and Earth, how are you supposed to muster up trust in the people you love and who love you? When worry overtakes you, so does self-absorption and self-absorption does not breed good, healthy relationships.

So, there are the ramblings of my heart..the convictions of my soul. I'll throw them out there into the virtual world in hopes that someone might relate and rejoice that they are not alone in their struggle. I hope you are all well and experiencing the peace that passes all understanding in our Lord, Christ Jesus.

Pooh Back Pack

Éva's Uncle Mitch and Aunt Kim and cousins, Jake and Kyland, recently sent her the cutest little back pack as a birthday gift. Upon pulling it from the wrapping, she immediately asked to wear it and didn't take it off for hours. It has now become a part of her night time stuffed animal brigade.

Oh no...Lumpy isn't the only animal that gets to sleep in bed with her. It's Lumpy, her blanket, Baby Jojo, Tigger, sometimes Eeyore, her Tigger and Pooh pillow and now her Pooh back pack.

Birthday for Chris

Yesterday afternoon, we attended the 3rd birthday party for Éva's best good friend, Christopher, or Chris as he has recently been referring to himself. It was so much fun! We had Boston's pizza, (best pizza on the island, hands down)a yummy Italian salad made by my friend Kasey (that even Paul, the meat and potatoes guy, loved) and the most decadent strawberry layer cake I've ever had made by my other dear friend, and mother of the birthday boy, Annette. Annette will tell you that she loves to cook but can't bake...don't listen to her! She's amazing.

It was a bittersweet birthday, however. It was most likely the last time that we would be able to see all of the kids (mine, Kasey's and Annette's) play together as Paul and I have recently found out that we will most likely be moving at the end of the month. And seeing as Annette, Sergej and Christopher are leaving today for a family vacation for two weeks, we most likely won't be here when they get back. So although Éva will have a few more opportunities to play with Kasey's kids (Isabelle and Daniel) she won't see Christopher again before we leave.

Because of this, Annette had a wonderful idea to get all of the kids to make T-shirts for one another with all of their hand prints. It was such a good idea and I watched as all of the kids willingly participated in this...all of the kids, except Éva. She would have nothing to do with it. The kid hates to have dirty hands and she took one look at that paint and decided there was no way she was sticking her hand in that. I have to admit, I was a bit frustrated. It was my first taste of wanting something good for her, but not being able to convince her it was a good thing. Part of me wanted to force her little hand, but then the other part of me new that it wouldn't breed the memory we were all looking for. I'm sure I'll struggle with bigger scenarios like this one for a long time to come. So, Éva's hand print is the only one missing (even Izzy got a foot print in there) but we'll try again in a few days and see how it goes.

Other than that, the party was a hit! It was so great to spend some time with Sergej and Annette before it all changes. Being able to live near them has been such a blessing. I've known Sergej since I was 11 years old. He became a staple in our home on Sundays after church and was adopted into our family as a big brother. That's how I've looked at him ever since. The big brother I never had but always wanted. I remember telling kids at school that my big brother had a red sports car(Sergej had a red Honda Prelude)and he let me ride it in all the time! He came into our lives at such an awkward time for me...figuring out boys and just trying to fit in. I struggled badly with a low self esteem, but it always made me feel just a bit more cool when Sergej paid attention to me.

Being able to meet and befriend his beautiful wife with such the gift of hospitality and a true servants heart has been an incredible blessing. Annette is a kindred spirit and countless times we have looked at each other, swearing we were raised by the same people. Watching our kids thoroughly enjoy one another's company and look forward to being together has been an unexpected but very appreciated part of our stay here in Hawaii and I will never forget it. The way Christopher runs out to greet Éva when he sees her getting out of the car for a play date melts my heart and the memory of that will always.

So, as cliche as it might sound to those of you who know this song, it's more than fitting:

"And friends are friends forever
If the lords the lord of them
And a friend will not say never
cause the welcome will not end
Though its hard to let you go
In the fathers hands we know
That a lifetimes not too long to live as friends."

Name Change

As much as I ADORE being a mom and for all the years that I looked forward to being called, "Momma," there are some days when the sound of "Momma" just grows tiring. C'mon all you mothers of two year olds out there...you know what days I'm talking about.

Those days, when it seems your toddler is under your feet every single minute of your 16 waking hours. You try everything you can possibly think of to entertain or distract your youngin' so that you can at least have a shower if not get some house work done. And just when you think you've got it, as she is playing nicely in her room, you run down stairs to sweep and mop the kitchen, sure that you have at least 20 minutes.

But no sooner than you've grabbed the broom from the laundry room, you turn around and there she is. She has already grown bored of playing in her room with the hundreds of dollars worth of toys you've bought over the last two years and she's looking to you to entertain her. So, you take a deep breath, put your broom down and ask her what she would like.

"Momma, juice?"
"No juice, hun. You've had enough juice today."
"Momma, fruit snacks?"
"No, no fruit snacks...too much sugar."

And down the list she goes until you finally agree on something...grapes. Yes, grapes are fine. So, you sit her on the rug in front of the kitchen sink with grapes and a cup of milk and you're positive that will buy you 10 minutes. You can't mop, as she is in the kitchen floor, but you could quickly clean the downstairs bathroom!

There you are, in the middle of wiping down the toilet seat with a Clorox disinfectant wipe and you're startled by a "Momma?"

"Yes Baby, whats up?"
"Momma, color?"
"Hang on babe, let Momma finish this real quick"
"Momma, movie?"
"Just a minute, hun. Momma is almost done."
"Momma, outside?"
"Okay, you need to go sit in the kitchen and wait for me."
"Momma, story"
"Get in the kitchen right now"
"Momma-"
"That's it!!! I'm changing my name and I'm NOT telling you what it is!"

The Bumbo

This marvelous creation, the Bumbo, was given to us by our dear friends Dave and Katie when Éva was a newborn...or perhaps it was while I was pregnant with her. I can't remember the timing, but I know that I LOVE the Bumbo. Thank you Dave and Katie!

We used this thing as a feeding chair when Éva first started solids and we used to take it everywhere with us. She loved being able to sit up and see things like a "big girl" and now Izzy is enjoying it in the same way.

Sedation Part 2

Éva was obviously a little loopy all afternoon so we put her down for a late afternoon nap around 2pm. Well, 2 and a half hours later, she was still snoozing and I was afraid she wouldn't sleep well tonight if she slept any longer. So I went up to get her. Well, her room was a mess with books and toys all over and I thought I would clean it up quietly before I woke her. She must of heard me put her kukui nut necklace in her toy box because all of the sudden, from a dead sleep, she pops her head up and says "Wassup?" I was so startled by her that I started laughing uncontrollably and fell onto the bed...she then proceeded to tell me that a lion says "arrrrrrr" and many other random tid-bits of information. I have no idea what that loopy little mind of hers was conjuring up, but it made sense to her even if I couldn't track her at all.

Sedation with a Side of Juice

Those of you that know us also know that Éva had to have a minor heart surgery in April of 2007. She has a very common defect called Coarctation of the Aorta and it caused her blood pressure to be very high in her upper body and almost non existent in her lower body. Anyway, the surgery she went through corrected the problem and all has been well since. Well almost all.

Although Éva has suffered no physical set-backs from the defect or the surgery, she has suffered some emotional ones. Éva is a happy child. She has a great sense of humor, an infectious laugh, and a smile to die for. She's a little cautious when meeting new people (she does NOT get that from me)but I wouldn't say that she is the text book definition of "shy." But put her in a doctor's office, and it's a completely different story. She screams and wails throwing her body all over the place at the sight of a stethoscope and teal latex gloves. Any nurse or doctor that dare to come near her...beware.

She wasn't always like this, mind you. It has only been since the surgery. She had to stay 5 days in the PICU at Kapiolani and Paul and I were not able to spend the night with her. I wasn't allowed to be by her side as she fell asleep before the surgery and I wasn't allowed to there when she woke up (I'm still angry about that to this day). At 8 months old, most infants are suffering from separation anxiety...throw this on top and you have one very traumatized child.

Well, although the surgery was a great success, Éva will still have to go in every year for a routine Cardiology appointment just to make sure that every thing is as it should be as there is a 15% chance of the defect re-occurring. They'll do a simple EKG and a sonogram of her heart. June marked one year since her last cardiology appointment and so off we went to see her doctor. And of course, she was in hysterics. She wouldn't let the doctor even come close enough to breathe on her. Because of this, he concluded that she would have to be sedated in order to get the information he needed to be sure that all was well with her heart.

Today was sedation day. I woke Éva up at 5am to be sure that she could have a cup or two of juice before I was to cut her off from all liquids at 5:30. She gulped down one and a half cups of a juice/water combo and was in ecstasy as I normally don't allow her juice until lunch time. We arrived at Tripler Army Medical Center at 6:30am to have her admitted as an outpatient. We then walked up to the 6th floor Pediatric Sedation Unit in the PICU and she had her vitals checked (which required me to wrap my legs around her lower body and hold her head still with one hand while the other hand was wrapped around her upper body and she was screaming the whole time). The anesthesiologist came in and told us that she preferred not to use an IV but to administer an oral sedative. Paul and I like this idea and we agreed. A dose and a half and 30 minutes later, Éva was a bit punchy but there was no sign of that completely "zonked" state arriving anytime soon. So they gave her a shot in her leg and that knocked her out in about 2 minutes.

And I have to say this. She was hilarious (after the medicine, before the shot)! I hope to never witness my sweet, innocent child in an intoxicated state (after the age of 21 of course) but man, did we get a taste of what it might be like. She laughed at anything and everything...and it was the Goofy laugh...Gha-chuck-chuck. And she slurred her words something awful. It took her almost 30 full seconds to tell me that a duck says "quaaat" as she says. It was pretty funny and Paul and I were laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes.

All that changed, however once the shot was administered. She was mid sentence and all of the sudden, her eyes started darting back and forth and her head just fell back into my hands, eyes still half way open. That was hard to see. I can't explain it. It's so...wrong...to see you're lively, quirky little girl like that...like a zombie almost. The tears of laughter quickly turned to tears of concern at that point. Of course, she was fine...but it just didn't feel fine. Nurses would walk by and say things like, "they're so nice when they're like this." I understand what they mean, but it didn't feel or look nice to me. It felt weird to look at my funny, active girl laying on her back, hooked up to monitors. It wasn't the sweet sleep that all mothers love to peek in on after bed time...no, this was different. It was...wrong. That's the only way I know to describe it. I know it was necessary...but it was just so weird.

The cardiologist came in shortly after and the whole procedure took about 20 minutes. All was well and she was given a clean bill of health. No big deal. Now, all we had to do was wait for Éva to wake up, drink a bit of juice to prove she could keep it down and we'd be on our way. Easy-peasy.

We were originally told that she would wake up in about 30 minutes. But that was before she was given both the oral medication and the shot. 2 hours later, our baby girl started to show some signs of consciousness and we started to pack up our things. All she had to do was drink some juice and that would be a cinch because she asks for juice constantly and I usually have to cut her off after 8 oz. Well, this very loopy toddler didn't want juice. She didn't want anything but to be held and cuddled, and that was understandable. But an hour and a half later...not so understandable. "Just drink the darn juice!" She wouldn't take it. And the anesthesiologist insisted that she drink some before we go home. I asked for a syringe so we could feed it to her the way you would give Tylenol or Motrin, the doctor wouldn't agree to that (I still don't know why). Finally, at noon, our nurse convinced the anesthesiologist to let us go if we agreed to call them when she did finally eat or drink something to assure them that it hadn't come back up.

So we make our way to the car and get both of the girls in their car seats (Izzy was a total trooper, by the way...slept most of the time). Of course, as soon as the car started, what did Éva ask for? That's right...juice.

New Shoes

Here in Hawaii, and perhaps other places, Crocs are THE shoe for kids and toddlers. You cannot go anywhere on this island and not see at least 10 kids walking around with these brightly colored shoes and there various ornaments, or Jibbitz, as they are called. They seem to be the perfect shoe for the climate and lifestyle here; well ventilated, easy to put on and a laid back style...kids even wear them with their Sunday clothes (including Éva).

Éva has now gone through 2 pair of lime green Crocs in the last year or so. However, last month, when Paul and I ventured to Ala Moana mall to get yet another pair of lime green crocs in a larger size, they were all out of lime green. We went with hot pink. Once we got them home, we realized that they were a bit large and we put them up in her closet to be used later. Well, they are still a bit large but the band on her lime green ones snapped and she's had a hard time walking in them with out the heal band (no, not every kid in Hawaii can walk in slippers). So, I pulled out the hot pink Crocs from her closet just to try them on her. I concluded that they were still a bit too large and that perhaps we would have to resort to tennis shoes for a while. But Éva wouldn't have it. She refused to take them off and that was just not a battle I wanted to pick.

Now she has her hot pink Crocs, adorned with a Roo Jibbitz on the left foot and a Lumpy on the right, and although a tad too big, she seems to be very happy with them.

Another Day at the Park

The park has become a pretty regular hang out for the Cortez clan. It's a great way to get out and enjoy the Hawaii sunshine and it's nice and breezy on that side of the base so we're not covered with sweat when it's time to go home.

Éva loves the slide and will go up and down over and over again while Paul catches her every move with the camera, and Izzy and I usually hang out at the picnic tables in the shade and watch.

Yesterday was a particularly nice day and there were a few families at the park. Éva always brings Daddy's soccer ball to kick around with him and it was noticeable that some of the other kids were eye-ing the ball. Éva is usually pretty good when it comes to sharing, but for some reason, she was not interested in sharing her soccer ball and chose to carry it around with her to be sure that no other kid got their hands on it. It was quite a sight to watch her traipse around the park with Lumpy in one hand the soccer ball in the other.

One little boy, however, did not share Éva's possessiveness. At one point during our visit, Éva decided that Lumpy too needed a turn on the slide and so she would stomp up the slide, (thank goodness for Crocs and their tendency to adhere to plastic play ground equipment)turn around and drop Lumpy down the slide only to follow him shortly thereafter. Lumpy usually came down the slide so swiftly that he would fly off at the end and onto the rubber surface of the playground. Paul and I watched as a sweet little boy consistently waited there, at the bottom of the slide. He would pick Lumpy up and hand him back to Éva as soon as she got to the bottom and she would give him a chipper, "Thanks!" This innocent interaction between two instant friends took place in that same order about 4 times.

Silly Girls

No story here...just pure silliness!

Fro-Yo Outing

Yesterday afternoon, after Éva’s nap, Paul and I decided to take the fam out for some frozen yogurt. Now, I'm sure everyone has heard of Pinkberry and how it's swirly goodness fame is sweeping the nation, but here in Hawaii, we have Milano Freezer. It's pretty much the same thing. It's delicious!

I got the original nonfat frozen yogurt topped with strawberries and granola, and Paul got the melon and strawberry gilato topped with gummy bears. No this is not odd. Paul will put either gummy bears or nerds on just about anything.

Izzy slept through the whole thing and Éva enjoyed helping herself from our bowls of yumminess!

On the 5th day...

4lbs gone! Woo Hoo!!! Cake, shmake.

Pride Comes Before the Fall

It seems lately that I've been feeling like I'm finally getting the hang of this whole "having two kids" thing. Izzy is starting to form a regular schedule for herself (at night anyway) and Éva seems to be adjusting well to having a sibling and I'm not feeling totally insane anymore. All has been well...until yesterday.

My friend Kasey and I haven't really been able to spend much time together lately. So, we finally nailed down a plan to spend an hour or so together yesterday afternoon. I was to be at her house at 12:30 and we were just going to push the kiddo's nap times back a bit. No big deal. Well, feeling very on top of things, I decided to put Éva down for a nap early so she wouldn't be grump when we went over to Kasey's to play with Isabelle and Daniel.

I put her in her bed at 10 am with a few books, thinking she'd "read" for a bit and then drift off to sleep...I was right. I went up there at 11 and she was out. So I decided to take the time to wash and blow dry my hair. Another piece of the story: Izzy wouldn't let me put her down...every time I put her down anywhere, she would scream. And she screamed the whole time I washed my hair, but as soon as the blow dryer turned on, she stopped. She likes the blow dryer.

So there I am blow drying my hair, feeling like Super Mom because I managed to put my 2 year old down early, I got my 7 week old to stop screaming and I was confident that I would easily get everyone out the door on time for the play date.

Then, through the loud hum of the blow dryer in my ear, I could hear Éva crying. This did not alarm me because she sometimes wakes up "on the wrong side of the bed." So I thought, "I'll just finish my hair and go up there and check on her in a minute." So I finished my hair, picked up Izzy (who had started screaming again since the blow dryer was no longer running) and headed up stairs. Nothing could've prepared me for what I'd find.

Éva, my pretty little girl, covered in her own poo-poo. It was on her face, her hands, her legs, her sheets...everywhere. And she did not like it one bit. She was crying so hard, and I felt horrible for ignoring her for the few minutes that I had to do my hair.

Well, this was not a "Wet Ones" situation...no this required a heavy duty bath. That meant, I would have to put Izzy down.

So down Izzy went in her crib which instigated her screaming. And off Éva and I headed to the bathroom. I started the bath water and undressed Éva (she was still very upset) and told her that she would have to take a bath. Okay, side note: Éva doesn't take baths...she takes showers with me or Paul(with his bathing suit on). So she doesn't really care for baths. But I had JUST done my hair so I wasn't about to get in the shower! So upon notifying Éva of her impending bath, she became even more upset and I had to pick her up and set her in the bath.

You would've thought I had set the kid in boiling acid the way she reacted! Her whole body tensed and her fists balled up so tightly. Her face was so red and she was just plain mad! So, I try to convince her to sit down in the tub...that's not happening. So I begin scooping up the bath water with her bath cup and pouring it over her stinky body, meanwhile soaking myself because I too am half way in the tub just trying to keep her in there.

So, I have Éva screaming in my ear, and of course, Izzy is getting progressively more upset as each moment passes that Mommy does not pick her up. She was screaming so loud, I was seriously worried she might hurt herself...an aneurysm or something. I swear, it was something out of a movie!

I finally got Éva out of the bath (still very upset) and wrapped her in her towel. Then I ran over to the crib and picked up Izzy, who immediately stopped wailing, and off we went down stairs to get a diaper on Éva. It was 12:00.

I put Izzy down in Éva's bean bag right next to me as I put Éva's diaper on her and tried to talk in a soothing voice to help her calm down. I fixed Éva a snack and some milk, and put her in front of a video for a bit so I could tend to Izzy and get myself ready so that we could be out the door in 20 minutes! And there was still poopy sheets to tend to!!!

Needless to say, we managed to get out the door on time, and the sheets were an easy clean in the washing machine and the Lord was able to bless me with enough patience to be able to laugh through the whole ordeal and not lose my temper.

So, I learned my lesson. Even Super Moms have "poopy" days every once in a while.

Me and My Girls

I love moments like these...me and my girls all snuggled up together on the floor. Izzy loves to watch Éva do anything and Éva loves to "help" me do anything with Izzy and I just love watching them do almost anything.

The Park with Daddy

There are some days when Paul comes home from work, and I need a break. Days when nothing went according to my perfect plans and I wasn't able to get anything done and I'm just beat.

On those days, Paul is so gracious to alleviate some of the stress and tension in the house by taking Éva to the park. They get some one-on-one time, and I get to attend to only one child for a little while. Eventually, he'll be able to take them both, and than we can alternate so that I'm able to spend some one-on-one time with Éva as well.

But until then, she is thoroughly enjoying her "Daddy Time" and he's thoroughly enjoying playing with his girl and his new camera equipment.

Post Partum Brain?!?

As I sat on the couch last night watching a rerun of Grey's Anatomy (the second best show ever, after The Office) Paul was on the internet performing his daily ritual of checking his list of various news and sports sites. He eventually came to an article about a football player who recently changed his last name to "Ocho-Cinco" in honor of his jersey number (I'm sure most of you know who I'm speaking of, even if I don't).

Anyway, as Paul proceeded to tell me about this article, I found myself pretty perplexed. "Can you legally change your LAST name?" I asked. Paul just looked at me...

I'm sure almost every married woman in the world has legally changed her last name...including me.

Happy Anniversary

Today marks 4 years since Paul and I said "I do." 4 years ago today, we drove up to San Jose to the Santa Clara County Courthouse and waited in line with about 3 other excited couples. It wasn't the dream wedding that any of us eager brides had dreamed about, with the white gowns and veils or the abundance of family all waiting to give us their congratulations, but that was fine. It was the marriage we really wanted. And Paul and I had the support of our families, even if they couldn't be there.

Our dear friend, Eddie accompanied us so that he could be our best man/witness, and afterward we treated him to breakfast at Denny's as a thank you. After breakfast, Paul and I drove up to San Fransisco to begin our 3 day honeymoon, but we arrived way too early to check in to our hotel room, so we went to see a movie...still decked out in our "wedding" attire. We saw "Paparazzi".

The day wasn't what I had always pictured, but it was perfect in all of it's casualness. There was no stress, no hurrying, no disappointment that one detail out of the millions of details didn't go right. It was just 2 people in love, vowing to spend forever with one another.

I love you Paul, and I wouldn't change a thing!