"I have come that they might have life and have it to the full..." -John 10:10b


Monday, October 13, 2008

A Virtuous Woman


"A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long."
-Proverbs 31:10-12 The Message

Yesterday, I decided to do a semi-refresher course on the Proverbs 31 Woman for the week. My plan is to study 2 or 3 verses (starting with verse 10) in detail every day until I get to the end of the chapter.

Why, you ask. Because I've just had my second child and with that has come the temptation to forget that I am FIRST a WIFE and THEN a mother. I am married to an extremely patient man who doesn't seem to be bothered to immensely by the fact that my focus is almost always on the kids. But I've felt a bit convicted about this in recent weeks. After all, if we plan to raise spiritually and emotionally healthy kids, especially in this day in age, should it not start with a commitment to make our marriage the best it can be? And that starts with me.

I've noticed the trend in myself and others to be kinder, more gentle and happier with other people than we are with our own husbands, the men we I vowed to love, honor and protect all the days of our lives.

And by protect I mean, protecting his reputation. Verse 11 talks about the virtuous woman's husband having "full confidence in her." He can trust her to not be a blabber mouth (something I personally struggle with), he can trust her with their finances and their children as well as many other things. But most of all, he can trust that her heart belongs to the Lord and is being molded to do His will.

I've also noticed how my mood can really set the tone of my household. If I'm feeling flustered or anxious, I have a flustered, anxious family. But, if I can find contentment and joy, then I have a content, joyful family. As much as men are called to be the head of the household, women are called to be their loving and supportive helpers and I'll admit, that my attitude many days is less than helpful. In fact some days, it's downright selfish.

I admit that I am often tempted to take on the "what have you done for me lately" attitude and that never goes well, let me tell you. But verse 12 tells us that a virtuous woman is "never spiteful. She treats him generously all her life long." She doesn't complain about how hard her day was or pout that the budget is a bit tighter than usual. She looks at every day as an opportunity to love God through loving her family. The Lord calls us to be servants as He was during His time here on earth. He calls us to love another and forgive one another "seventy times seven." What I have failed to recognize in recent months, is that it starts with loving my husband.

So, I'll try this week to allow the scripture I'm meditating on to seep in and change my heart and therefore my actions and my attitude, knowing all the while that the Proverbs 31 woman is merely a barometer by which to measure ourselves by, and I will always come up short in one way or another. But I thank God for His patience and for blessing me with an incredibly patient and determined man. Because let's face it, if I were married to me, I would've thrown my hands up in forfeit a long time ago (sigh).

1 comments on "A Virtuous Woman"

Tales from Goshen on October 18, 2008 at 7:14 PM said...

Anne, you're right. In some ways, it's more challenging to be the whole wife when your attention is splintered between husband and little ones. I've found that while the husbands are usually very understanding about our time with our kiddos, since we're their primary caregiver and source of everything - the key is to making our time with our husbands memorable. Whether that's looking them in the eye when they tell us about their day or just stealing some tight hugs and deep kisses while the kids are playing. Truth be told, the kids like seeing us do that! Such security in knowing mommy and daddy love each other. :) And awareness of the standard (P 31) is always good. I'm proud of you, dear friend.