A Look Back

I don't know what it is lately, but I've been in a reminiscent state. Izzy is getting so big and Eva just doesn't seem like a toddler any more, but rather a little girl with ideas of her own. Every morning, it seems they've gotten older, bigger, more beautiful and a bit more independent. Sigh...Where does the time go?

This might seem as if I'm changing the subject, but hang in there...it'll tie together in a minute. Yesterday I noticed that I hadn't touched the computer in hours, and no screen saver had come on. So, I sat down and pulled up the properties to find that our screen saver was set to 60 minutes. I changed the settings to 5 minutes and then took the liberty of finding an interesting theme. I set it to show the images in our "My Pictures" folder.

So last night, after the girls were down and I was folding my last load of laundry for the day, I glanced over at the computer monitor to catch a picture of Eva when she was only 3 days old. My heart broke into a thousand tiny pieces.


I remember looking at her when she was that tiny and wondering what she would look like as she grew. If she would have my eyes or Paul's nose or what color her hair would be. I see her now, and she's just more beautiful than I could ever have imagined.


I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen as each new image came to sight, reminding me of specific memories and stages of Eva's growth.






It was just yesterday that I was nervous about going into labor with her. I had never had a baby before and I had all the hopes and questions of any new mom to be. Paul and I giggled our way through child birth classes and made comments in response to stressed out parents in the store like, "when we're parents, we'll never do this, that, etc..." Oh the lessons we learn trying to teach our children.



At that time, all I could see before me was labor and delivery and what it would be like to bring a new baby home. I had no concept of eventually having a 2 year old who could sass me or insist on doing it herself or tell me she loves me or ask if she could hold me. I had no idea of how immense this love would be upon first sight much less how it would grow as my baby did.

Sigh...it almost makes me want to do it all over again. Almost.