"I have come that they might have life and have it to the full..." -John 10:10b

Monday, July 20, 2009

My Morning Devotional

Once the girls were fed, changed and happily sitting down to watch a couple of morning cartoons this morning, I sat down in my big comfy chair with my coffee next to me on the end table and my Women's Devotional Bible open to Romans where I'm finishing up the last few chapters. I didn't have any crazy ideas or expectations for this mornings devotional. I thought it would be much like it's been recently, I open my Bible, do the next lesson in the sequence, write down a few thoughts in my journal and call it a day.

The Lord had different plans this morning.

Remember this post? Well, I've been really struggling with whether or not to put my kids in school verses homeschooling so that I can finish school myself and perhaps even go back to work to supplement our enlisted military income. Lots of moms do this, right? And isn't there more to me than just nose wiper extraordinaire? And when I've even mentioned homeschooling to some people, they look at me like I'm nuts. A few people try hard to see where I'm coming from but for the most part, homeschoolers have a stigma of being socially inept and although not fairly earned, most cannot see past it. As much as I believe in homeschooling, I was beginning to doubt my ability and I was beginning to question if I was willing to put my own ambitions on hold in order to pursue that route.

A few dear women who have literally known me since the day I was born have been encouraging me to think about all sides to this matter and one of them actually sent me this sermon to listen to. It got me thinking.

And then, I sat down to this mornings time with my Maker to open my Bible to this:

" We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment:

'For who has known the mind of the Lord
that he may instruct him?

But we have the mind of Christ." - 1 Corinthians 2:12-16

And then, I flipped over to my designated lesson for this Monday morning to this:

"Though early morning is not my best time of day, after a couple cups of coffee, I manage to fix breakfast, wash the dishes and usher SIX children out the door to school before heading for the laundry room.
I stopped abruptly at the door and stood gazing in disbelief at the mountains of dirty clothes. Hadn't I just washed three loads yesterday? Sudden tears of frustration stung my eyes. I quickly brushed them away, a bit ashamed of myself , and put the first load in the washer.
Then I continued to tidy up, picking up the mornings newspaper and various cups and glasses left from snacks the night before. Soon, I found myself in my son's bathroom, scrubbing the tub. Once again the tears insisted on imposing themselves against my will. This time they found little resistance. I was frustrated and discouraged and my self-esteem was about as low as it could get.
It was still morning, but I was tired-tired of the same mess day after day-of washing clothes that only yesterday I had folded and returned to their proper places; of doing the dishes, only to get them out a short time later to reset the table. I was sick of spending hours cooking a meal that was consumed in minutes.
Sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor, sponge and cleanser in hand and tears streaming down my face, I found myself fussing, crying and praying all at the same time.
God in his loving-kindness came to meet me: 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' (Matthew 25:40)
'Lord, even this?' I asked.
'Especially this,' he replied. 'Who else is going to do it for? In all these small ways, you are serving me.'
Lovingly reassured and encouraged, I dried my tears and continued to scrub the tub."

-Gigi Graham Tchividjian

All of these individual lessons, sermons and concerns voiced by those who I know have my best interest at heart have come together to tell me this: My life isn't about me. It's about serving God. At the end of time when I'm standing before Him, He's not going to care if I ever earned a B.S. or a B.A. or a certificate of some sort. He's not going to care what our annual income was. He's going to care about whether or not I left a legacy. Did I train up my children in the way they should go? Was I a loving and devoted wife, did I spend the time to disciple my children in my home in the way of the Lord? Was I a good steward of all that He had blessed me with?

And also, sometimes, when we choose to follow what we know is God's will for us or for our families, some people won't understand it. Even people that love us dearly will be left scratching their heads. And that's okay. Because we are not subject to any man's judgement, but only to the judgement of God.

2 comments on "My Morning Devotional"

momof3 on July 20, 2009 at 2:52 PM said...

Wow Annie! It's good to hear from our Father, isn't it? He knows our every need and has all the answers. I'm praying for you.

Trench Mommy on July 20, 2009 at 7:18 PM said...

Good thoughts!